I Traveled Solo for the First Time at 40—Here’s What I Learned

I’ve always been an avid traveler, but when an opportunity arose to travel by myself to Spain, I quickly realized I had never traveled alone without my friends or family, much less had a hotel room to myself (or a bed without children crawling in it). Earlier this year, I was invited by the Consorcio del Jamon Serrano and the D.O. Cava to join a press tour to learn about jamon Serrano and cava. The trip entailed meeting in Barcelona and then traveling to Girona, Zaragoza, and Madrid, where we’d visit jamon facilities, meet producers, taste the product, and immerse ourselves in Spain. It was a trip of a lifetime and an opportunity I knew I had to say yes to, but I realized I had a lot of details to work out (and nerves to calm).

This was my first press trip and as a freelance food and lifestyle writer, something I had only dreamed about. But there were plenty of challenges to figure out, mainly child care and logistics. My husband commutes daily and I’m the primary caretaker for our kids during the day, so I often don’t have childcare at my fingertips.

I was also nervous about leaving my family for six nights abroad and knew everyone would be disappointed as the trip overlapped with our coveted family break. But this was my first real work trip and I have never gone on an independent trip across the globe with strangers. I had to come to terms with my own self-confidence issues.That common inner voice popped up, that familiar what if voice that often plagues me. And then there were the other bits of anxiety: missing my family, and wondering if something bad was going to happen and I’d be in another country, getting sick or lost, missing an alarm—the list went on.

Here’s what happened

During my trip, I had a fantastic time—to no surprise to anyone. While I was nervous about things going wrong, overall, the trip really did work out. I met several other writers, journalists, and publishers, alongside our Spanish hosts. We experienced behind-the-scenes tours of jamon facilities, learned all about the curing process and how to enjoy jamon and cava (this was clearly a highlight), and took in the Spanish culture, gastronomy, and sites. 

I made fast friends, but yes, there were certainly moments where I felt awkward. As a highly sensitive person, I found I needed some extra down time to reset. There were also times where some of my social anxiety kicked in, especially in a professional setting. But overall, having this shared experience with others helped me make fast friends. When you’re in a situation like this, it’s learning by fire.

And, yes, I was tired and jetlagged, and missed my family. The time difference made it hard to connect; my husband would often call or FaceTime during my day when we’d be busy on a tour or traveling in a quiet bus or train. When I did have a moment, I was often getting organized for the next leg of the day or sleeping. But with honesty and trust, we got through it. Plus, he created a fun-filled winter break with friends and family, and the kids barely missed me.

When I was tired or jetlagged, I drank a lot of coffee, mainly cortados (espresso with a bit of steamed milk) and many double espressos. With a robust itinerary, I tried to stay in the moment and focused on learning and absorbing all I could. I reminded myself this was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and it’s okay to be uncomfortable.

I got lost. One of my favorite moments—besides all of the delicious food, drinks, and laughs—was going for a solo walk and getting lost in Girona. I meandered around this ancient hillside town, wound up along this elevated pathway where I could take in the sunset and I stumbled upon these monolithic cathedrals. In those moments, it felt like my own personal pilgrimage.

What I learned

I was exposed to a whole new world of culture, history, and people, and regained a sense of independence and confidence at 40. I kept an open mind to various cultures, ideas, and backgrounds. One of the unique parts of the trip (besides traveling to Spain!) was getting to know fellow guests from around the world, sharing perspectives and life stories. I’m still in touch with the group and have made amazing connections. In fact, one of the hosts and I WhatsApp message almost daily. I refer to her as my Spanish pen pal; we chat about food, our daily activities, relationships, and travel. It's fun sharing our parallel lives despite being geographically apart and in different stages in our lives.

It was such a freeing and important personal moment to remind myself I’m still the same person but always growing and changing. As a mother living in the suburbs, it’s easy to feel swept up in my daily grind, but this trip gave me insight. I can do things independently, go outside of my comfort zone, and travel with strangers.

Now that I’m back, I’m still obsessed with Spain and try to relive parts of the trip at home.

After returning, I binge-watched all of Valeria on Netflix (think Sex and the City, but in Madrid) and frequently curate Spanish-inspired meals—I’m looking at you croquetas, jamon, pan con tomate—while sipping on cava or vermouth all while listening to a curated Spanish playlist courtesy of my friend. My door remains open to any interested or hungry party who is willing to take part in Spanish Night at my house (and my bed remains usually full with my children but I love the snuggles).

Tips for Traveling Solo

It’s okay to be uncomfortable

That's part of traveling. You’re going to be tired and cranky at some points. You’re going to have those real life moments when you may just want to be back in your own bed, and you may miss home. Remind yourself: discomfort is temporary and one moment will become a memory.

Talk it out

We’re a “big feelings” sort of family, so I made sure to verbalize my thoughts while also using it as a teaching moment. I explained to my children that it’s normal to feel both nervous and excited about trying something new, and even adults have the same feelings.

Do a Little Research

If you have access to an itinerary, get familiar with the agenda, or the restaurants. I like to do a little research on all of the places so I have some basic knowledge and history of the city. I also took map screen shots of where my hotels were in case I got lost abroad.

Pack for Peace of Mind

Think about the essentials and what makes you feel secure. For me, it was a printed itinerary, medications, hydration and sleep aids, charging cords, adapters, and of course my passport. I also recommend bringing a journal or keeping an electronic log (I keep an on-going Google doc travel diary, which is great for sharing), and get your technology in shape so you don’t have to worry about oversea issues. I made sure my international phone plan was ready and packed a portable cell charger for those long days out and about.

Be Flexible

Lastly, expect the unexpected and (try) to be flexible. And yes, try all the new foods.